The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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