she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
