but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
