im drinking this country out of the recession.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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