singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
