Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize