Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
