The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Enjoy the penises
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
