i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
