the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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