guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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