What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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