She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
