Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
