But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize
