I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
