And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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