i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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