Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
