I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
