I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
