I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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