Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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