Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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