So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
