I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
