So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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