no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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