She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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