He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
