Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
