I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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