i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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