i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
