By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can't turn off my feet"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dick very happy bro
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
