Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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