We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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