Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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