Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize