I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
