just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
