I cockslap morals
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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