if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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