The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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