I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
