***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
