I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
