My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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