I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
