the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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