actually, I'm a sock model
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just blew my weed a kiss
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
