who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize