i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
