I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
40s are totally the cure
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Randomize
