If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
