Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
