Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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