Reggie can tackle my bush.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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