you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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