it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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