walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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