six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
