I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
