If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The best revenge is premature balding
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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