She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
