I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize