I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
