Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
