so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
