I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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