But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
