dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize