Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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