no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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