Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Couch. On fire.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
