Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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