To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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